Creature Of Habit

23:29:00

Fuck MY life. I switched the charger on and it wasn’t plugged into the fucking laptop. After I came back from a super exciting (sounds blond to say but reading is a different perspective, right? Or is it.) rendezvous in my lawn with my dog with the moon up high(seems legit) THIS is what I get? Betrayal by the higher powers? I am hanging by something thinner than a g-string (19 percent battery life).



 I am trying to remember the good old days when eight year olds asked you for a toffee rather than to get a life. Old habits, old days. Well not Clint Eastwood old but old enough. So what is it about the past that more often than not deludes the future? What is it about the ancient that lacks in the young? The most uncomplicated answer is – Familiarity. We are creatures of fixation. We secure a profound vindication of our wicked feats, consoling ourselves that we imprinted the former self we once inhabited. Now that you know why we feel what we feel for the long lost past (not saying it is a correct deduction, it’s mine so it must be) we can come back to the objective of this mind rattling exercise just executed. And don’t we just sometimes catch ourselves smiling at things we still unconsciously perform without meaning to? We do. If you don’t, you’re not a human being or you are a lying piece of kiss my -well- proportioned derrière. Choose wisely whatever it is you are, reader. Your existence thereby will be dictated by my aforementioned expert inference.

Do old habits die?-no
Do they survive? – partially
Are they toxic? –Varies from person to person (stereotypical question)
Should we start judging people? – Leave my sacred blog you pest. (that discretion is solely mine to be possessed)



Enough, now that you may or may not be expecting a barrage of philosophical dung from my brains, fend for yourself, reader. I ain’t your therapist. My job is to mind fuck you- not answer questions. 
I am now going to elaborately explain my old habits and why I hate myself (I swear I am not crying in a dark corner waiting for your approval, if you post a comment that might cure the blues, heh) -

-Ending every call without a proper ‘goodbye’.

-Hoarding  : old doodles on tissue paper, erasers that don’t erase, Clothes ;my upper kindergarten yellow hoodie, pirated DVD’s, glass containers and an infinity of other literal crap.

-Never saying ‘hi’ first : it’s the divine rule of my miserable existence.



-REWATCHING stuff I know like the back of my hand.



- Same with re-reading.

- Snacking for no reason, trust me when I say that I snack hardcore, my hunger for unhealthy is the equivalent of Nash Grier lover’s hunger for stupidity.



-Parallel tangents in conversations spring up like a... never mind, you get it right?

-Random song lyric insert in any tortured conversation is the truth of my life. I think it’s a good old habit.

- Eye rolls.

-  Reading the epilogue of a book first.



- Not knowing how to fill awkward silences, on second thought it IS an awkward mishap because of the silence. Right.

- ALWAYS walking, sitting, sleeping, ALL movements on the left side.

- Never taking the fist plate from a stack.

-Filling water bottles to the (sweet lord Jesus’s) brim.

- When unaccompanied, helplessly looking for someone to cross the road with. THEY ARE DEATH TRAPS.



-Bursting soap bubbles no matter if you’re standing in the middle of TOY WORLD, which is embarrassing for any self respecting adult to even witness. Not me, watch me.

-Cynical head is back in the game, wait, it was never gone.

- Say hello to Mr. Procrastination. Hello *Barney Stinson voice* ( I have always envisioned procrastination as an assholy suit and tie guy).

-Bubble wraps. NUFF said.

-Not saving the damned game I am bleeding my eyes over.

- Petting my dog and my neighbor's dog and the neighbor's- neighbor's dog and the clean looking street mutt and well dogs and occasionally cats.

- Relating to song lyrics that were clearly not written for me. (I am definitely not talking about  Hozier’s someone new).


- The old pining away for things.



- Getting defensive over which Jane Austen hero takes the cake (not being biased or anything but I know that Mr. Knightly never gets due credit), you see I deal with a lot of unresolved crucial issues.

- Not apologising. It hurts the emo to not say IT, but the emo subdues it.

I hope you relate a few things if not all, even if you don’t , convince yourself that you do because I would really be pissed if you thought me the antagonist from Psycho, you see it’s not a good thing to irk potentially hazardous people. ;)

The list would have beat ‘Gone with the wind’ in terms of being  boorishly long but I just discovered that my roommate has kept  OUR Worst photograph together as her Profile picture, I hope she commits suicide before my hands squeeze the soul out her blasphemous throat.  I have to perform some damage control , reader. *flies out in a flash of lightening* if only Barry Allen could see that. Thor would suffice too.
                                                                                                                       







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4 comments

  1. This hit me very close to my very habitual heart. So fucking relatable, it hurts.
    Bubble wraps, re-reading, re-watching, hoarding, eye-rolling, petting/creepily staring at dogs that are not mine so that they love me are things you will find me doing when I am not being a total nerd.
    Coming to the point, don't hate yourself for these amazing if not slightly quirky habits that you have acquired over the years. It takes serious commitment to re watch and reread stuff when there is so much more to do ;) and I love you all the same for it.
    Flash approves :p

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    Replies
    1. Hehe I love when People understand them feels. My lonely Heart Explodes with Joyous relief.

      Delete
  2. I related to everything said on the post, if not every word. You walk around everyday and think you're all alone on this stupid planet, everything about you alien and awkward and weird and then you read something like this. Nice to know other Martians hide their green skins under human garb too. We'll take over the world someday and the humans will be too busy socializing and
    whatever is that they do. Stupid humans.
    I love this post.

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  3. Heh My green soul EXPLODED. Thanks for commenting.

    ReplyDelete